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• 05. "He goes in alone, gets in deep, we save his bacon, and then he goes off alone again. Now there's the makings of a great leader!" --Hawkeye
• 04. "I should be dead already. It must be for a reason. I just finally know what I have to do." --Tony Stark
• 03. "Let's face it, this is not the worst thing you've ever caught me doing." --Tony Stark
• 02. "They say the best weapon is one you never have to fire, I prefer the weapon you only need to fire once." --Tony Stark
• 01. "Good God! You're a woman!" --Tony Stark

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• 10. "It's like you're a big bird with radar and I'm tired of getting hit!" --Frank Napier
• 09. "The disappointment here is you!" --Frank Napier
• 08. The Lord said, do whatever you have to do, and he didn't say 'Joe, be polite.'" --Joe Clark
• 07. "Girl! I look at you and I want that oochie coochie." --Thomas Sams
• 06. "Discipline is not the enemy of enthusiasm!" --Joe Clark
• 05. "They used to call me Crazy Joe. Well now they can call me Batman!" --Joe Clark (holding a baseball bat)
• 04. "You're substituting my bosoms for your mothers. . . Why not what's wrong with my bosoms?" --Lexie Littleton
• 03. "Maybe they'll just kind of adjust to me." --Carter Rutherford
• 02. "Can you hear me? Good! You are NOT inferior! Your grades may be, your school may have been. But you can turn that around and make liars out of those bastards in exactly one hour when you take that test and pass it and win! So here's what I want you to do. When you find your thoughts wandering, I want you to knuckle back down and concentrate. Concentrate! Remember what's at stake and show them what East Side High's all about: a spirit that will not die!" --Joe Clark
• 01. "We sink, we swim, we rise, we fall - We meet our fate together." --Joe Clark

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• 10. "Praying Mantis, very good. . . For catching bugs." --Lu Yan
• 09. "We can kill each other when it's over." --Lu Yan
• 08. "First rule. Show respect to your teachers." --Lu Yan
• 07. "No more silent riddles and no more empty cups." --Jason Tripitikas
• 06. "But, he's not even Chinese." --Silent Monk
• 05. "You have freed me traveller, now go free yourself." --The Monkey King
• 04. "He's got no kung fu. . . none!" --Lu Yan
• 03. "I can't understand you." --Jason Tripitikas
  "That's because you're not listening!" --Lu Yan

• 02. "He needs wine, it's his elixir." --Jason Tripitikas
  "We will send a walking monk." --Monk
  "Don't you have a running monk?" --Lu Yan

• 01. "Hey, he's my student, not yours." --Lu Yan

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10. "Please, you're barely even brown." --Kumar

09. "Zip it Hello Kitty." --Ron Fox

08. "I'm starting the bottomless trend." --Raza Syed

07. "Had I known that the monkey had AIDS I never would have done that." --Kumar

06. "This is gonna be exactly like eurotrip, except it's not gonna suck." --Kumar

05. "You're gonna jam out with your clam out." --Neil Patrick Harris

04. "Welcome to Guantanamo bay, you boys like to spoon?" --prisoner

03. "He's not a terrorist, he's just. . . he's just an idiot." --Harold

02. "This is bigger than I thought. North Korea and Al quida working together." --Ron Fox

01. "Uuuurrrpppp" --Neil Patrick Harris

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10. "What you eat, the baby eats. What you listen to, the baby listens to." --Kate

09. "You pay the bills, she have the baby, that called a baby mama." --Oscar

08. "Is that chocolate or poop," licks it, "it's chocolate." -- Caroline

07. "If you listen to DMX, the baby comes out goin 'Ennngghhh!'" --Oscar

06. "It costs more to have someone born than to have someone killed." --Kate

05. "With a little luck I could be pregnant right now. . . I said too much for a first date, didn't I?" --Kate

04. "I just don't like your uterus." --Doctor

03. "There's somethin' wrong with your toilet." --Angie (squatting over bathroom sink)

02. "Can I just spray a little pam down in that area before the baby comes out?" --Angie

01. "Its like shitting a knife!" --Angie

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