Some of the odder and spiffier statements made by the Conspiracy Cowboy.

• "The world government can always do a lot more damage and a great deal more cover up then you'd suspect."
• "Who do you think controls the press? The hybrid-inter-dimensional-aliens, with the help of the USPS of course."
• "Welcome to the land of Truth, here be monsters."
• "This sounds like the retro-virus hybridization experiments centered around mutating existing people rather than growing hybrids from scratch. Experiments such are these are what lead to the creation of the zombies, originally an accidental discovery, but the aliens have found that the zombies are useful as well."
• "It will continue."
• "The government is using mass media and viral marketing tricks to make us desensitized to the idea of small towns vanishing. If we're exposed to enough 'fake' incidents then we won't believe it when it really happens." --Conspiracy Cowboy
• "They might erase anyone at any time, but living in fear of the conspiracy is never productive."
• "The brainwashed do not lie, they merely remember as they have been convinced to remember."
• "[The conspiracy] all comes from the highest level of -- The United States Postal Service."
• "It can't continue"